His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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