Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
