so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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