I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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