Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
