stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
