I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't turn off my feet"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
