suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
