The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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