You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
