Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
a search helicopter?!
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
