So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
