I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
