They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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