omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
