I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
