I must be too annoying 4 u.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
