I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
