Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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