I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
