I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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