I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
