So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When are your genitals available?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
