Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
