I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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