pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
