GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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