It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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