how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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