i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
