Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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