i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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