My cat gives me a boner
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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