since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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