Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
