ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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