i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
