I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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