Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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