Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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