If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
