DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
