I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
