So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
try to milk me bitch
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
