tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
