wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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