I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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