So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
