Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
