you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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